Welcome to my creative, messy, artisan life. In a world of filters and edited perfection, a look at the unfiltered creative process—with the actual artisan looking like a tired hot mess—can be a bit jarring. I get that! I know most people want the Instagram glow-up and the fake persona put forward, but I hope that you are more interested in the real artisan: the human (debatable, I prefer to be a phoenix, haha) behind the finished products.
When I sit at my work table, I am far from picture-perfect. I rarely, if ever, wear a bra because they hurt me. Between my weight and my physical ailments, it’s just not logical to put myself through more physical pain than necessary. I don’t go and get my hair and nails done before I begin my creative process, nor do I put makeup on.
Truth is, I take a shower, wash my hair, let it dry naturally, throw on whatever comfortable clothes I feel like wearing that day, and begin. When I film myself, that is what you get: me, a mess of a real-life artisan, working her unfiltered creative process.
My recent YouTube clip and me in all my unfiltered creative process messiness!
I have to be extremely honest with you here and tell you that I was really struggling with posting it. Why? Because when I saw what I look like these days, it still comes as a bit of a shock to me.
When I don’t see myself on film or look in the mirror, I don’t see this full-figured woman with no plastic augmentations, messy hair, and tired eyes. I see the younger, stronger, and healthier version of myself. Inside, I am forever young and taking on the world. So now, seeing myself like this at 56 is a bit painful. There is naturally the fear of rejection from you, because I don’t fit modern-day beauty ideals. So yes, I struggled, and I struggled hard. Yet, this is me—and since I want my brand to include radical honesty, showing an unfiltered creative process and the messy 50-something woman reclaiming her life is nothing short of radical.
So here we are, and here is the clip:
I tried and failed to film “staged” watch-me-work clips!
I can’t tell you how many times I have tried and failed to film “staged” watch-me-work clips. By “staged,” I refer to those clips in which I look my very best (even wearing those painful bras) and sit there as pretty as you please, showcasing myself working on something. Guess what? Having to worry about the right camera angle and making sure I’m showcasing what I am working on while hiding my big belly takes my focus from what really matters: the work—the unfiltered creative process!
It divided my attention between feeling pressured to perform and truly creating. I didn’t like that at all. In my world, now at my age, I am more concerned with my handmade creations looking their best than myself. Fact is, when you buy one of my handmade creations (regardless of the type), you are buying part of my reclamation story, part of my artisan soul, part of my courage, strength, and never-say-quit attitude. What I look like physically doesn’t really matter.
My creative mess while I create—the area around me!
When it comes to showing you my unfiltered creative process, it is equally important to show you the utter creative mess that is my environment right before and during the creative process.
My artisan studio is not some high-end, mass-production space. Not even close—and honestly, that kind of soulless environment would end my creative spirit in a heartbeat. My creative studio is literally my bedroom, which I have to set up and break down each day.
My bed doubles as my “disaster-level” zone of boxes and containers filled with the materials I need. My workstation is a fold-up table that transforms into an art studio, a beading table, a wood-burning station, etc. On the other side of me is my window and my L-shaped computer desk, and there is usually more, plus maybe a snack and something to drink. On the opposite side of my table, I have my TV, and I let a movie stream while working—something that fits the mood of what I am creating. At other times, I have music playing.
Sitting in one space for anywhere from 8 to 12 hours a day, with only short restroom or stretch breaks, requires everything to be close at hand. I sit on a swivel chair so I can turn from side to side easily. And yes, if you are curious: by the end of the day, my eyes are gritty, dry, and very tired. My back and legs ache. My wrists are crying for some soothing. Working hunched over like that for so many hours is physically challenging; with my body already having some physical ailments to contend with, everything I make truly is a labor of love and a testament to grit and endurance.
From my unfiltered creative process to a finished handmade product
From the setup, the work, and the adorable, real-life, mature mess of an artisan (me) to keeping the hope alive that each creation will find its new home with someone who falls in love with it—that is all part of the unfiltered creative process.
A lot of the creative process I can’t even show you if I wanted to. That happens in the mind as I go. It’s designing it on the fly. It’s those moments when I have to unravel something or cut it apart because I don’t feel that “awww” or “YES” effect I want. It’s the switching between techniques, materials, and styles to create something utterly unique.
As the evening hours draw close and “Turtle” (the nickname for my granddaughter) gets home from school, she asks for her “huggies” while I make space for her to receive them—feeding both of our souls and hearts. A while later, I’ll call out to her to ask if she would mind being my “awesome Turtle coffee delivery service.” My granddaughter is turning 13 years old soon, and she is really great at making me coffee. Served with sass and love!
Then, there is my three-generation opinion check. Once I am well into the process or have just finished a piece, I show it off to my daughter (36), Turtle, and my daughter’s fiancé (58) to get their opinions. Even though their words are always kind, I can read their expressions. From small hesitations to genuine “wow” reactions, I can tell if something I created passes that binary gender (female and male) and three-generational check, always keeping in mind that everyone has different tastes and preferences.
With checks complete, it is time to list each new handmade item on my new eBay store
Since this is how I earn my living now, it is time to list these original creations—which carry so much of my artisan soul, including those precious moments mentioned above—for sale.
Yes, that too is part of the process, but now I have to switch hats from “creative” to “e-commerce administrator.” (Not my favorite hat to wear.)
Lately, my sales platforms have begun a major shift. The Shopify creative hub was dismantled and closed down. My daughter, Gina, aka Noctedea the digital dreamweaver, is in the process of switching platforms and is working on “take two” of the creative hub.
It’s a slow process; with her being extremely busy with her personal life—building a new career with Aflac, studying for her Nurse Practitioner license, and being the mom to a 6-month-old (my adorable grandson)—it’s going to be a very slow process. I fully support that. I’d rather she take her time, avoid extra stress, and get it ready so it isn’t only beautiful but easy to navigate and fully functional.
This means I had to figure out a different online marketplace to sell through. Enter my new eBay store (less than three weeks old now). And yes, that means I am starting over again. (I’ll tell you more about that in a different post).
Right now, I have a little over 30 diverse handmade products—or as I like to call them, treasures—available and ready to purchase. I will add new ones today.
At this precise moment, I am running “Grand Opening” prices, introducing the world to my handmade products and my slowly establishing brand: ReginaCreates™.
On average, it takes me about 90 minutes from product photography to writing the listings to hitting “list.”
The above is just a sample screenshot of what is available inside my eBay Store at the moment. It serves to illustrate to you a small idea of what my range is when it comes to handmade creations. There is a lot I haven’t even begun to create and list yet.
You can see what is currently available and ready to find a new home at https://www.ebay.com/str/reginacreates!
Every heart, every share to Pinterest, every purchase, and every bit of good feedback means so much to me. You, in a very real sense, become part of my reclamation story when you support my small handmade business.
…And now, it is time for me to be the “hair colorist” for my Turtle. She wants her hair dyed in new fun colors today, and I am happy to make time for that. It’s Saturday, and Saturdays are always a mix between admin work, creative work, and just spending time with my “Turtle.”
Thank you for visiting with me today.
Artisan Regina L.